Debbie Downer...

I know today is Friday and my teacher cancelled class which meant that I slept until noon, the sun is shining and it's conference weekend so I should be happy, right? Well for some reason I'm not in the best of moods. Maybe it's because I am so dang bored! But thanks to my beautiful friends Tara Livingston and Elli Alves..... I have a WONDERFUL website to go to at times like these. It's called Iwastesomuchtime.com and it's SO GREAT!!! So here are some photos from that site that I legit laughed out loud at or thought to myself "Oh my heck, that's SO true!! :) Enjoy and happy Friday!

I think we all can think of someone like this!

My friends are PRIME examples!

Rules are meant to be broken, right?!

HAHAHA!!! Apparently that creepy look means, "Well duh we're gonna be partners!"

Well... he's a keeper for sure!

                                       This is adorable!

:)

Umm yes.... ultimate win!

I honestly think I laughed the hardest at this one!!! Sing along with it and you will too... come on, I know you want to!

And for some reason our voices all go an octave higher when we are trying to show them that we love them still! haha gotta love the "baby/pet" voice

Totally happened to me on Tuesday in class! Jake, Rach and Katelin were all SUPER late and I sat there thinking, "... those jerks! They planned this, I know it!"

                         YES!! That makes total sense now!

Let's be honest... Tom Felton is SUPER attractive but Matthew Lewis trumps them all!

Oh girls :)

       College kids have no problem with this!

Straight up genius!

                                        I honestly had no idea!

        -_-

                              I love Harry Potter, okay? Sue me

Mean Girls Reference... LOVE it!

  I think the face is what gets me everytime!!! haha but seriously, no one knows the words!

 How many drinks gets you to that state?

      Facebook stalking!

I hate when that happens!

                     For all you science nerds!

 This one is so great!

                Meanwhile, in my pocket..... Stupid headphones!

 I'm terribly upset that this is SO small! It's a whole chain of Yo Mama jokes but they all have HP references in them.... You'll have to find it on iwastesomuchtime.com because it's GRAND!

                             You may have to zoom your screen in to read this but it's way funny. Probably something that I would do for my dog! Love that guy!

.....?

Ok.... so this is kind of a serious post.... so if you don't feel like reading about something EXTREMELY personal in my life and my thoughts about it, I warn you to stop reading now :) Go ahead, I won't mind (or even know for that matter).

I have been thinking A LOT lately about my situation in regards to my family and I decided something. Not having a father really sucks. Honestly, it is something that no child, daughters especially, should have to go through. My father used to be my world. He left me, my sister and my mother when I was very young so I honestly don't remember it. The only thing I knew was that dad wasn't coming home anymore and that my mother cried a lot. But don't get me wrong, he remained very much in the lives of me and my sister. We spent every weekend, break, holiday and summer that we could with him. He moved a lot so we experienced new houses, neighborhoods and even states. He was a very attractive man (yes, I am saying that about my father and if you think it's creepy, that's your problem) so naturally he had many girlfriends after my mother, which my sister and I both experienced as well. New women, new kids but luckily none of them lasted that long. Until he met my stepmother, Brenda. They got married and I inherited a stepmother and along with that I got four new step siblings. Life was good for awhile. My sister and I got along well with Brenda's kids, my stepbrother Carson and I were best friends, I adore that kid to this day even. But eventually, over time, my father decided that he wasn't going to take care of himself the way that he should. He became diabetic which made the "not taking care of himself" thing even worse. He has been hospitalized MULTIPLE times for drug overdose, he can't hold down a job for more than a few weeks and I honestly don't even know where he is living right now. The last time I saw my father was Father's Day two years ago when my sister and I bought him dinner and went to visit him in the broken, beaten down house he was living in full of crack heads and drug addicts. I have been at war with myself for quite a few months now trying to figure out how I feel about him and this situation. I cry on a nightly basis because my head tells me to get over him and accept that he isn't in my life anymore but my heart strings tug at me and tell me that I should love and forgive him because after all, he is my dad. It's true, I have talked about adoption with my stepfather because let's me honest, he is the dad that I never had. I want to be adopted by him but I just can't bring myself to actually do it because I want to believe that my father is trying as hard as he says he is, even if I know I am going to end up broken hearted in the end like all other times before.

But in a way, this has made me absolutely 100% sure about something. Honestly, I have NEVER been more sure of something in my life! If there is one thing in this world that I will kill myself trying to do it would be this: To find that one man out there in the world somewhere who will love my children the way my sister and I have deserved to be loved all these years. If he can't marry me in the temple so he can be the father to my children for eternity, he is not the one for me. I will go to every corner of this Earth, sort through thousands of men if I have to, to find the one who will love my children unconditionally and uncomprehendingly. Because I refuse to let my children go through what I have gone through. Bouncing back and forth from parent to parent, families arguing about who gets what kid for what Holiday is definitely not as fun as it sounds. It straight up sucks. No child should have to feel like one of their parents doesn't love them or doesn't want to be with them ever again because it can rip a child up inside.

And since all of this has happened with my father, my stepmother left him and is now dating a new man. My best friend in the whole world, my stepbrother Carson, dropped all contact with me... No facebook, won't answer my calls, no texts... It seriously kills me. My stepmother won't even give me an explanation as to why she won't have any contact with me or my sister. My stepsister Lacy is the only one that will talk to us and it's not even to me, it's to my sister. I have a newborn niece that I have yet to meet. I wasn't invited to my step mom's college graduation. And it's still a mystery as to why. I honestly do not understand how "FAMILY" can drop a FAMILY MEMBER just like that... like you never even existed.

Me and my father, back when life was good. Here's hoping that maybe someday it will go back to this!

Well I am exhausted and my eyes seem to be leaking or something ;) So I am off to bed... Until Next time :)

Savannah Rose Taylor!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to one of my oldest friends Savannah Rose Taylor! She was the very first friend that I ever had when I moved to Heber all those years ago! I remember pulling into my driveway on move-in day and she yelled across the street to me through one of her windows. My dad and her dad borrowed shovels and tools from each other all the time. My little brother and her little brother were inseparable. Her mother and my mother were dear friends with each other and our neighbor Janet next door. Our families just meshed so well together. Then the sign in Savan's yard went up... that dreaded "For Sale" sign. Shelton had gotten a job in North Dakota and had moved over there to work. Eventually, he took his family with him :( Luckily there were many times when Savannah got to come visit! I love all of our inside jokes, all the laughs that we've had and all the memories that we have made! I love you Savannah Rose!

And now let's take a trip down memory lane!

 Remember how we NEVER left the tent this year at camp? We would sleep for HOURS, get up and eat, go back into the tent and talk and then fall asleep again?! We had SO much room because we had a scout tent and there were only like four of us in there! hahaha oh man, that was good times!

Remember all this drama? Need I say more....?

 

 Just some archery champs right here!

Some more fun in the tent!

BANANA PHONES!!!! Orlando Broom, HOLD THE PHONE, It's my Bar Mitzvah!

 I <3 U

Remember the camp ground full of mosquitoes so all we did was lay in the tent? .... I feel like we do that A LOT, just lay in the tents.

MORP Sophomore year










All of our good times redoing the Leavitt's house!

We've had some very good times! I love you Savannah Rose and hope you have a wonderful birthday!! :) :) :)

Valentine's, National Pancake Day and Frosty's

I know this is SO late but for Valentine's Day I went with the girls to see The Vow and we also went to Texas Roadhouse.... My first time and I fell in love! MMM... DELICIOUS!!

Me, Cait, Ali, Em, Kait, Tay and Kels :) Super stoked to see The Vow!

Got a picture with Big Blue at the last home game of the season

I was trying to write a paper for my FCHD class and I had been studying all day and could just not focus on the paper when I heard a knock on the door. Dave was standing there with Wendy's for himself and a Frosty for me! Aww, he is so sweet! I love my Dave Smith!!

I went to National Pancake Day with Christina, Elli and Tara! We all tried all of their syrups and they were delicious! I believe Butter Pecan was the crowd favorite!

And that's the most recent update! :)

Until Next Time, "In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, it's okay.... there are lots more coming along."