1. There aren't many things in this world that I am legitimately terrified of; I could probably count them all on one hand. But one of my biggest fears on the Earth, however lame it may sound, is CLOWNS!! To this very day, I couldn't tell you why or what caused this fear, but I am terrified of them. At carnivals, I avoid them at ALL COSTS! In haunted houses, I close my eyes when they're around, run and usually scream until they are gone. Their huge shoes/feet, their creepy eyes and make-up and their mismatched clothes.... TERR-I-FIED!!!Why yes, yes I am!! Also.... I may or may not have been crying while googling images for this post.... :(
2. I have an incredibly huge irrational fear that I will never get married. I know, I know.... "I'm only 20! I have a whole life ahead of me. I have plenty of time for that." But those totally cliche words are not a comfort to me! Thinking about planning a wedding causes me tremendous anxiety because I fear that I will never get to plan one. Maybe it's because I am terribly far behind the average person my age. I have never been in a relationship, never experienced the dating world, never had a boyfriend, nothing. I've kissed two boys and that doesn't even come close to qualifying as a relationship. I am extremely naive when it comes to relationships and am completely inexperienced, which is most likely causing all this fear about marriage. I feel like it's never going to happen for me.
3. One of my biggest downfalls is that I have an immense need for companionship. Not necessarily a romantic relationship or a boyfriend (obviously) but my need for people to be around me at almost all times! I can be perfectly content with absolutely no conversation going on, as long as I am with people. I can sit for hours and hours, just listening to others have a conversation, as long as I am present in the room. It's been a problem this past school year for sure! I cannot physically get myself to get into bed and fall asleep if I know there are people out talking or watching a movie in my living room. I would stay up until all hours of the night, until everyone had left, before my body would let myself sleep. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's a curse of mine.Like I said.... doing absolutely nothing... I just loved having them there!! :)
4. Number three kind of goes along with my number four. Number four is that my friends and family are my absolute life. I know it sounds SUUUUUPER cliche but it's true. I have found some of the absolute best friends a girl could ask for. They have gotten me through absolutely everything this life could throw at a person and more! I have also been INCREDIBLY blessed to have the family that I do! My aunts, uncles and cousins are loud and obnoxious and crude and annoying and impolite... and I LOVE every minute of it! They are my family and I adore them and all of their flaws. I have the world's best parents who I wouldn't change for the world. My mother and father are the two best things that could have ever happened to me. I owe them everything and more! I am so in love with my family, it's ridiculous.
5. And last but not least, is my incredibly high expectations for my husband.... poor thing!! Through everything that has happened to me in my life with my biological father, I have made up my mind about the kind of man I want my children to call their dad, and I will not settle for anything less. I expect him to love not only me for eternity, but to absolutely adore our children. Growing up without a dad is one of the hardest things a child can be put through and I WILL NOT let my children experience what I have. I love them too incredibly much already to even think about it in the slightest. So I yes, my expectations are sky high for my husband, but I can promise him that it will be worth it! :)
Until Next Time, "All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point it to discover them."
